Danny Smith: Grit and wisdom

Given last years hysterical SNOWPOCOLYSE response from the media, its good to see the novelty has worn off. Of course the reaction was purely from the media, and it was disingenuous to say the least to see the TV news swing from headlines inferring that the poor are eating their young to a slideshow of people sledding, building snowmen and generally larking about, in the same show.

It’s not even newsworthy to mention how the snow has suddenly become not that newsworthy, which is good, because the implications of that could cause a recursive news feedback loop which would by 2015 see Nick Owen reading the news from his inside his own lungs.

Of course, it doesn’t stop the news still being full of those boring slideshows. Now, one feature of a snowy landscape is that its essentially just a white space, so the news chooses to take a snapshot of the country when it looks identical, and does this by showing basically blank pictures.

Personally I love the snow, nothing is guaranteed to make me regress to a childlike sense of wonder than waking up on a snowy morning. I even have the best sled in the world; one of the silver bumps from the side of the Selfridges building. It’s scuffed and dented now from a particular sledding accident which gave me concussion, but still recognisable. I found it, honest. What I am absolutely NOT doing is encouraging the public on mass to fall upon the Selfridges building to nick the reachable bumps so we can have a mass broken bones and head trauma party on Beacon Hill.

Besides the bumps are super tough to get off and would require a spanner and some hard work to get off (I imagine).

Snow days shouldn’t just be a school thing they should be mandatory Bank Holidays, decided upon by a nine year-old Minister Of Aceness who’s paid in sweets and phoned up at seven any morning there’s been snow fall and asked ‘Should we go to work today?’ his word will be final.

Think about it the only people going to work on those days would be people that really wanted to, be it because they’re particularly well-paid or really love their jobs. The other %99.9999999997 of us would be free to build giant snow cocks, drink Baileys, and take enough photos to keep local news programmes in content for months.

The opinions of Danny Smith do not necessarily reflect the views of the publishers of this blog, its affiliates, or any sane adult human beings. He currently lives in your cupboard, watching, always watching.