Brummie of the Year 2007 – John Tighe

TheStirrer wrote:

For John’s reaction, see here http://www.thestirrer.co.uk/johntighe.html

Adrian made up all of this. What I did say was:
“Bollocks!”

Brummie of the Year! I thought I’d been elected as the new Pope. My Mum’s going to be really upset when she finds out. She wasn’t too pleased that I was going to remove the obligation to go to Mass every Sunday and to make it ok to covet your neighbour’s wife – though in some cases, I’d rather covet my neighbour’s ox than covet his wife. Mum had spent so much time sewing all those sequins on the robes and the triple tiara. And the size of the stone in the ring!!!

Brummie of the Year! I suppose I’ll have to practice using the words “cowin’” and “bab” in the same sentence. Although I could get Carl Chinn to do my voiceovers. Might as well make some use of him since he was pathetically unwilling to express support for our “Noise Abatement Notice” campaign – too political!?! (Must remember that when voting for Mayor)

Brummie of the Year! Wait ‘til I tell my snotty barmaids that they have to curtsey to me. I will try to get them to “kiss my ring” as well, but I don’t hold out too much hope. As for the rest of you hoi polloi, I want to see loads of forelock-tugging or you’ll be in deep shit.

Brummie of the Year! Hang on! Does this mean that I can force the Planning Department to produce either their own or a developer’s noise survey for the Abacus building? Can I make them force the developers to come back and finish the building correctly, for the benefit of the unfortunates who have invested in Birmingham’s next slum? Can I compel them to admit that they DO know the whereabouts of the Chief Planning Officer involved at the time, who, according to them, has moved on, leaving no forwarding address? Ho Ho! Can I replace litter wardens with roadsweepers? Can I abolish the iniquitous Licensing Task Force, spawned by a deliberate misinterpretation of the spirit of the Licensing Act, who are having a fun time blitzing licensed premises unnecessarily, and, probably, illegally, leading to the needless expenditure of countless thousands of pounds.
What do you mean, I can’t…! Bollocks.
What about making it open season on pricks who rent (not buy!) apartments in Digbeth and then threaten the whole live music scene in Brum by opening the wormhole that allows the developers and planners to collude in building high-profit-margin crap because Digbeth in now officially “residential”.
What! I can’t even do that!
How disappointing. And I woke up this morning feeling like Woody Allen in “Bananas”.

Done & Dusted. Now that the messy affair of 2007 is out of the way, it’s high time to start nominations for 2008. It’s unlikely that anyone else like this will come along, so you’ve got a year to think of the appropriate accolades.

A sharp-eyed shopkeeper may have put a stop to a major crime operation passing off forged banknotes in Kings Heath. His swift actions led to a dramatic chase along the High Street as the suspect fled through lunchtime shoppers with two local butchers in hot pursuit.

Butcher shop owner Stan Hems said he was offered a £20 note by a woman on Friday lunchtime and he was immediately suspicious that it was a forgery. “The note looked brilliant, but the paper just didn’t feel right. Then when I held it up to the light I notice part of the watermark was missing,” says Stan.

He says he challenged the woman who then offered him what he thought was another fake note. When he mentioned calling the police she ran out of the shop and up the High Street. Sixty year old Stan gave chase along with a younger member of staff who caught the woman and brought her back to the butchers’ shop until the police arrived. About My Area

Brum’s own have-a-go hero (top that, Glasgow!) is a larger than life character who embodies all the qualities you could ask for in a Brummie of the Year, and more! He’s very much the local lad, is active in his community (has been for decades), and has that unassuming but bolshie spirit that we like round these parts. Ra, Stan!